I subscribe to a blog by Seth Godin who is a bit of a marketing "guru" and great at posting thought-provoking articles.

His recent post (I’m summarising) argues that "bad" behaviour and irrational decisions are almost always driven by fear. If we want to change the behaviour, we should address the fear. We generally don’t – we address the symptom by punishing the behaviour. It would be better to start a discussion with the question "What are you afraid of?".

Of course, actions have consequences too. We need to take responsiblity for our choices – it’s not enough to simply blame our fears (or someone else, or circumstances etc). If we have done something antisocial, aggressive, or unhelpful, that often seems like the easiest answer.( "He winds me up – he makes me hit him"). Another way is to recognise:

• That we always have other choices
• That the behaviours and habits that we’ve got used to might not be the ones that would help us best.